Love Note
by lp1983
Summary: A small ficlet that explores the idea that Castle finds a letter Kate wrote before they got together during a move.
1. Love Note: Always

Love Notes

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the laptop that this ficlet was written on.

A friend and I were talking tonight and they encouraged me to write again. I asked where to start and they gave me a prompt. Now I'm gonna veer off from said prompt, however I have decided to post it here, so you can see where I stemmed from:  
_"He thinks he missed it, no he knows he missed it. The movers had been in the day before to take everything away and he was sure nothing remained. But as he steps back through the door to the loft for the last time he catches a flash of white poking out from beneath the empty bookshelves. Maybe it was always there. Maybe she had left it there for him to find one day. Or maybe it was dislodged during the packing. He grabs the corner and unfolds it to reveal her distinctive handwriting. He can tell she wrote it in a hurry as it lacks the usual curves and embellishments her other letters to him hold. It's the "always" scrawls across the bottom that draws his eyes. The letters are indented into the paper as if the weight of her thoughts were too heavy for this single word to bear."_ I hope you enjoy. This is my first Castle fic, so bear with me.

It turns out her letters to him started way before they got together, he sees the date in the corner, January 2011. He tries to think back, what were they doing in January 2011. Was that when they took down Lockwood? He almost folds the letter back up, but then he thinks they've been married for 10 years now, so do they really have any more secrets. What would the harm be in reading words that were obviously for him at the time? He then sits on the floor, cross legged, since every bit of furniture is now gone, packed into a moving van making it's way to the Hamptons. They had decided a few years ago when their last child was born that they no longer wanted to live in the city. Amelia is now almost 5, Kate has quit the force after one to many close calls, deciding she wants to have more time with her family. So here he was, their last day in the loft, all their belonging packed away, and him alone on the floor of his office. Kate and Amelia were staying in the Hamptons, getting the place ready to live in. He is just here to check on the final pieces and make sure everything had gotten moved. He was sitting on the floor with the letter in his lap, wondering if he should read it. Did she leave it here on purpose? Or did it fall out of one of her boxes? He could almost swear he'd never seen this particular letter before, and he would know, he had kept all the letters and doodles she'd given him over the years. He contemplates only for a moment more before he fully invests himself into reading her words:

_Castle - January 24 2011_

_I sit here alone in my apartment, Josh has just left for his shift at the hospital and I'm writing you. I'm sitting here thinking about that kiss, making me question everything up to this point. Last summer you went away to the Hamptons with Gina, just as I was about to say I'd go with you. It broke me for so long. I don't know why. I felt like we were just about to jump into something amazing, and then you got back together with your ex wife. I figured it was over. I'm even trying to make Josh the one, all while thinking about what you and I might have had. I guess I wanted you to know. But then think what good will it all do. I'm still with Josh. But should I be? Am I just scared because of last summer? Am I just waiting behind my wall for you to crash through? I mean every word we say to each other has underlying meaning. Perfect strangers have come up to me and told me they see it. So what am I waiting for? You say "always" and I know you mean it._

It was there that the letter stopped. Castle turns it over in his hands, looking for more, but there is no more to be found. It was as if she had been interrupted and never gotten back to it. He is a bit shocked. He never knew that she was going to say yes to his invitation to the Hamptons. It seemed as if this letter was never meant for him to see, probably had fallen out of one of her notebooks when they were moving. He now felt wrong for reading it. He takes the letter and neatly folds it back up, now not sure what to do with it. He stuffs it into his back pocket and makes his last looks around the apartment. Castle satisfied that nothing else has been left. He walks to the front door, opens it and sighs. Gives the loft, his home for so many years, one more look and then walks into the hallway and closes the door. Takes the key from his shirt pocket and locks it. He will have to take the key to the real estate agent in the morning. Hopefully the next family will have as good of a life as he had. Lots of love, laughter and laser tag.

Castle arrives home, it's weird to call the Hamptons home but he knows he will learn to love this place just as much in time. His two girls greet him. Kate gives him a kiss as Amelia goes in for a hug to his legs. He picks Amelia up and carries her inside. Castle follows Kate to the kitchen with Amelia in tow. Kate has been cooking, Castle smelled the marinara sauce as soon as he came in the door. His girls must be hungry, he sets Amelia down at the kitchen table and goes to the stove where Kate is standing. "Smells good." "Thanks, babe" She scoops up a bit of marinara on the spoon and lifts it to his chin. He tastes it. "Perfect, let's eat." She smiles, stirs the noodles as he goes to the cabinets and pulls out three plates. Kate prepares the dishes and takes them to the table. Castle gets a bib for Amelia and snaps it around her neck and then sits down beside her. "It looks delicious, mommy" "Thanks, baby." Castle smiles at his two girls. Amelia has been learning so many big words lately, he thinks it's because Kate and he have never talked baby talk to the young girl. She's always been curious as well and asks when she doesn't know a word. Their baby is going to be very smart. They all eat in relative silence, not awkward, just a comfortable silence of three hungry people eating a wonderful dinner together.

After dinner is through Kate unsnaps Amelia's bib and tells her to go play. She takes off running to her small tent in the corner of the living room that Castle had set up for her a few nights before. Kate then begins to clear the table, however Castle stops her. "Can we talk?" Kate sits back down. "Of course" Castle seems to fidget in his seat and Kate picks up that he is anxious. "Castle…?" He then looks up at her, she takes his hands. "What is it?" Castle kisses her palm, then reaches into his back pocket and pulls out the letter. He hands it to her. "What is this?" "Something I found while checking the loft one last time." She opens the letter and scans it. Immediately her hand goes over her face in embarrassment. "Oh god, you were never supposed to see this!" Castle looks down at his shoes. "I'm sorry." Kate then looks at Castle, she can tell he feels guilty. "Oh, Castle, it's okay. I mean, at the time…" She trails off. "You know what, it doesn't matter now." She takes his hands again. "Look at me" Castle slowly looks up from his shoes right into her eyes. "No secrets. Now you really do know everything." "So it's true…you were gonna say yes? You wanted to come here that summer?" "Yes. I even broke up with Demming." Castle looks shocked. "You did? And then stupid me, I go and bring my ex wife to the precinct. You must have hated me." "I didn't hate you, Castle, I think actually I may have been in love with you. Made it pretty damn hard to hate you." Castle shifts closer to Kate. "We could have had more time?" Kate smiles. "Maybe, but maybe we would have crashed and burned. Who really knows. And well I kind of like our story." Castle kisses her then, a soft but passionate kiss. "I kind of LOVE our story." Kate smiles and they both look over at the tent where Amelia was playing, she's now curled up with her favorite bear, Cubsy, fast asleep. "It doesn't matter what happened in the past. We got there eventually. We made it. I love you. And I love our life together." "Me too."

* * *

Thanks for reading.

Please leave a review, recipe or joke.

BTW I am spoiler free, so please don't leave spoilers on the current season in my comments. It'll just make me sad. Thank you :)

This is my first Castle fic, so sorry if it seems a little OOC. I was just told to start writing and this is what came out of it. I hope to write more later, not sure if for this fic or if I'll just start something completely new. Only time will tell. Until then.

xxLP


	2. Love Note: Kate's Confessions

Love Note Chapter Two

_Moochiecat — I freaking love that you left me a recipe. Best thing ever. _

_To all other reviewers, thank you so much for reading. It means a lot to hear what you have to say about my writing. Just now getting back into it._

_I decided I didn't want to continue my other story but instead take the prompt as many different ways as I can. Though I'm going more with the "Finding a letter during a move scenario" I will veer off more from the original prompt I was given. Hope you all are along for the ride :)_

_Disclaimer: Hey, guess what, they aren't mine. Disappointed? Yea, me too._

* * *

_On with the story._

There it was, just a small sliver of white, poking out from underneath the bookcase. Castle walked over, bent down and picked it up. Immediately recognized Kate's handwriting on the front.

Castle. Just one word. But that one word was written so beautifully. How come he'd never seen this before. He sat down on the only chair now remaining in an almost empty room. The new owners had asked if they could purchase it with the apt, he had happily agreed. He'd come to check the apartment one last time before shutting this chapter of his life forever. He was alone. He turned the paper over in his hands and unfolded it.

_I don't know if you will ever read this, heck I'm not even sure I want you to. _

He stopped. Should he read any further? He didn't know. He decided to take the letter to Kate. He refolded the letter and placed it in his back pocket. Looking now for any other items out of place, he found none. He then made sure all the lights were off and walked to his front door one last time. He said a silent goodbye to the loft, the home he, Alexis, his mother and even Kate had shared together. The memories would always be with him, laughter filling the halls as Alexis and he played laser tag, the kisses he'd shared with Kate on the stairs and the dramatics of his mother, all just ghosts that this loft would now hold inside it's walls. He turned off the light just above the door, open the door and walked out into the hallway. He sent Kate a quick text to let her know he was on his way home and then closed the door, locked it and walked away.

It only took him a few minutes before he was pulling into the parking garage of their new apartment. They had decided after they got married that they would like to have a place that was theirs, not his, not hers, but theirs. They had found a gorgeous apartment in just a few weeks and the loft sold pretty quickly after that. Everything came together as if it was meant to be.

Castle walked through the doors and greeted their doorman. The man gave a polite smile and wave as Castle made his way to the elevator. Only 15 floors to the top to their penthouse. The apartment had four rooms, a media room and a gigantic kitchen. It was perfect for their growing family. Kate had found out only a few months ago that they would be adding to their family. Castle was beyond thrilled at the prospect as was Kate.

Castle unlocked the front door and immediately smelled the banana bread that Kate had made. Their whole apartment smelled delicious.

"Babe, you here?"

Just then Kate came around the corner. Looked as if she'd been in the nursery they had been setting up. She was dressed in a white t-shirt and overalls. Castle thought she looked absolutely adorable.

"Hey, babe."

Kate approached him, stood on her toes and gave him a kiss.

"How was the apartment?"

"Looked good, I found something."

"Really? I thought we got everything last week."

"Seems like we missed something, or rather you did."

He pulls the neatly folded letter, which has now been sat on and has a few more creases than before, from his pocket. Kate takes the letter from Castle and begins to read it. He watches as her brows knit and then a smile comes over her face.

"Did you read it?"

"Only the first line, then I stopped…figured you might not want me reading it."

He smiles at her.

"Really? Where is my husband you clone?!"

She laughs.

"You really didn't read it? I'm surprised."

"Hey, I've changed, I don't have to know every little detail about you now. Not clawing for information, you more than often give readily. See, you've change too, my dear."

Kate bites her lower lip.

"I suppose we have both grown up a little, learned to communicate better. That's why I'm gonna let you read what I wrote all those years ago. It's nothing you don't know by now."

Castle practically jumps with glee. His curiosity really was getting the best of him. As much as he wanted to respect her privacy, he really wanted to know what was in that letter. She handed him back the letter.

"Here you go read while I slice the banana bread."

She gives him another quick kiss and pads off to the kitchen. Castle flops down on the couch and unfolds the letter. The letter is dated at the top, October 2010.

_I don't know if you will ever read this, heck I'm not even sure I want you to. But these past few months something has changed. I can't wait to talk to you when you come into the precinct every morning. I wait to get coffee, knowing you'll be bringing one with you when you show up. And a few days ago I thought I might never see you again, had a passing moment where I thought you were dead at the hands of a serial killer. It changed something in me. It brought up questions. It made me question everything. Those few minutes where I didn't know whether you were dead or alive killed me. I couldn't breathe, it took everything I had in me to bust down that door. I realized I don't want to live in a world where Richard Castle isn't by my side. And that thought scared me. I have a boyfriend. I shouldn't be thinking thoughts like these. I finally admitted to myself that I like having you around. I smile every time you bring me a cup of coffee and miss you when you have to write or have a date with Alexis. I get jealous when you mention another girl. I realized I have feelings for you. I was crushed last summer when you went away with Gina just as I was going to accept your invitation to the Hamptons. Knowing you had gotten back together with your ex broke me. I spent most of my free time immersed in my mom's case. Not thinking about you. at. all. If I'm honest with myself and you, it was a really hard summer. But I made it through. Seeing you that fall was hard, but I managed. And then I met Josh. He was the opposite of you in every way. He didn't push me, he never asked about personal things, we went out, we had fun and that was that. It has all become so mundane. When someone isn't pushing you, you never go that extra step, when someone isn't prying into your life, you never really get to know them. I realized I liked the intrusion. And then all the sudden it was almost ripped away from me. And I just felt I needed to get these words down on paper. _

_November 2010_

_I almost gave this to you today. But then you started talking about Gina and I slipped it back in my purse. I think maybe this is where I will just vent my feelings. I feel like I let the moment pass us by and that we will never find our footing again. I'm hiding. Even I know that. But you and me…if we imploded I don't know what I would do. Rick, you've become my best friend. The person I confide it, bounce theories off of and the person I want around all the time. I can't lose that. You'd probably tell me something like, but what if we didn't implode, what if we were amazing? I'm scared. Honestly, I'm so scared to lose someone else. It's easier to hide. I don't even know what your feelings are anymore. I guess I waited too long. _

_January 2011_

_You broke up with Gina today. I'm not sure how you felt about it, for once you didn't confide in me. I accidentally overheard. I'm sorry. Today I should have given you this letter. But I'm not sure it matters much anymore. Do you even care? I hate that I'm having these doubts. Josh is gone yet again. He's always so busy. It gives me too much time to think, to write. I don't want to be your rebound &amp; I don't want you to be mine. _

_You kissed me. And now it's all I can think about. We saved Esposito and Ryan and you kissed me. It doesn't even matter why. I felt it. And I can actually still taste you on my tongue. How sick is that. Me sitting here thinking of you while Josh is sound asleep beside me. I hate myself. You are definitely never seeing this now. _

That's where it ended. Castle turned over the letter, but only his name was on the outside. Kate walked over and set a plate with two pieces of banana bread on the coffee table and then sat down beside Castle. Cuddling into his side. Castle slides an arm around her pulling her even closer. Kate looks down at the letter.

"Finished?"

"Yes."

"And? Do you have any questions, comments? I know that was a lot to digest. Though if I'm honest with myself you had to have some sort of inkling about most of it."

"Yea. I didn't know you were gonna accept my invitation to the Hamptons. You had rejected me and you were going out with Demming…it all seemed so final."

"I broke up with Demming. I was trying to tell you…"

"When Gina walked in."

"Yep. She walked in and I saw everything I'd been scared of fall into place. You with another woman. It felt like I'd been stabbed in the back."

"But you'd said no, twice actually."

"I know. I was still figuring out things myself. I broke up with Demming and then I was trying to tell you, but I said too many words…"

"I'm so sorry, Kate."

Castle kisses her temple.

"If I'd known…"

"What? You would have told Gina to go home and you and I could have ridden off into the sunset together, had our happily ever after?"

"Well, um…"

"It doesn't matter. It's the past. We can't change it, we can only learn from it. And we did eventually get on the same page."

He grabs her hand and kisses the top. Her engagement ring glistens in the sunlight tucked neatly next to her silver wedding band.

"Now, Mrs. Castle, let's put this away with all the other letters."

"In our love note box?"

"Sure. this definitely ranks up there with a love note. You poured your heart out in this letter. It's our past, and as much as some of our story frustrated the hell outta me, I love it. I love you, past, present &amp; future."

Kate shimmies into Castle's lap and gives him a passionate kiss.

"Love you too, Babe. Anything else you want to ask me before we put this away? One time only, ask me anything about our past and I'll answer. Offer expir…"

Before she could even get the words out Castle asked, "Why did you stay with Josh so long?"

Kate looks straight into his eyes.

"I was hiding."

She doesn't elaborate, he doesn't ask anything else. Castle grabs the plate from the coffee table and offers Kate a bite of banana bread. She readily takes it and eats her piece while he eats his.

"This is amazing, babe."

"Thanks, I found the recipe online and since I was craving it, decided to make some."

"So glad you did."

Kate smiles at him and then rises from his lap and takes the now empty plate to the kitchen. Castle takes this time to go and take the letter to their "love note" box. When Castle returns, Kate is back on the couch, flipping through the channels on the TV. She moves over a little to allow Castle to sit beside her. He puts his hand on her tummy, she isn't really showing yet, but she's been glowing ever since they found out. Kate puts her hand over his.

"I started going through a few of the boxes my dad sent over."

"Yea, how'd that go? I know it was going to be hard on you."

"It was actually good. Seeing what stuff of mine they saved. The blanket they brought me home from the hospital in, a few dresses that look like they may have only been worn on special occasions, a few stuffed animals, again hardly used and a few pictures."

"Baby Katie? I have to see those."

"Come with me."

Kate takes his hand and leads him into the nursery. The nursery walls are painted a very pale green, they had decided they didn't want to know the gender and were going for a gender neutral room. There was a dark wood crib, diaper changing table and a wooden rocking chair with "Castle' carved into the back in the room, they had yet to get anything else. The crib and changing table had been Alexis's, the rocker however was new. Kate was surprised when Castle had gone to his storage shed and brought them home. Castle surprised Kate with the rocker just last night. Kate held his hand in hers. She felt the moment he saw what she had done. His hand grasped hers just a bit tighter. Castle was staring at the new pictures on the wall. Before there had just been baby pictures of him and Alexis but now baby pictures of Kate also joined the wall. He let go of her hand and walked over to the wall to inspect the pictures of her further. Kate just stood back and watched. The first picture Castle came to was one of newborn Kate in the arms of her mom with her dad smiling over the both of them from the side of the hospital bed. The second picture had Johanna holding a toddling Kate, it looked as if she was about to take her first step, but her mom held on tight. The final picture had Kate alone, but covered in birthday cake. Castle smiled at the pictures, then turned to Kate.

"These are perfect. How old are you in this one?"

He pointed to the birthday photograph.

"I think it was my first birthday. Neither mom nor dad thought to date them."

"You were adorable."

Kate walks over to where Castle is standing and puts her head on his shoulder and hugs him from behind.

"I'm glad you found these. I can't wait to add new pictures to this wall."

"It is coming together quite nicely."

Kate stifles a yawn. Castle turns and looks at her.

"You ready for bed? Seems like you have been really busy today. We could go lay down and read a bit."

"That sounds perfect."

They turn off the lights of the nursery and head to their bed room. Kate sees that Castle has yet to put the "love note" box away. She moves it over and sits down on the edge of the bed. Castle comes and picks up the box to put it away.

"Leave it out."

Castle sits down and puts the box in his lap.

"What do you want to do with these?"

"I want to read some of them…together."

* * *

So this totally got away from me, and took a different turn from where I thought. But I like it and hope you will too. I will try and update shortly, with them reading letters from their "love note" box. If you guys have any "love notes" send them my way. I'll try to work them in.

As always I accept comments, recipes and jokes. Thanks for reading.

Until next time.

xxLP


	3. Love Note: 4 Month Anniversary

Love Notes Chapter Three

Author Notes: Sorry it's been awhile since I last wrote. I got a bit busy making Lego Castle sets and spending time with my mom, since I am home visiting. Hopefully I'll get better at updating, but I doubt it. I get distracted so easily and have many projects I'm working on. A few more sets of lego sets for sale, and then on to my Castle inspired jewelry, and other jewelry. So busy busy. On with the story…

Like last time, I still don't own them.

Previously on LOVE NOTES,

_They turn off the lights of the nursery and head to their bed room. Kate sees that Castle has yet to put the "love note" box away. She moves it over and sits down on the edge of the bed. Castle comes and picks up the box to put it away. _

"_Leave it out."_

_Castle sits down and puts the box in his lap._

"_What do you want to do with these?"_

"_I want to read some of them…together."_

Castle starts to finger through the letters, Kate snuggles in and looks over his shoulder.

"What should we read tonight? Early or later on in our relationship."

Kate put her hand over his in the box and pulls out an envelope. It's a small brown envelope with Kate's name written on the front.

"How about this one?"

Castle takes the envelope and carefully opens it. He pulls out a card.

"Do you know what this is?"

Kate gives the card and quick look and huge grins spread over her face.

"That's the card you gave me for our 4 month anniversary."

"Yep, do you remember what you said when I gave this to you?"

Kate thought back, she remembered him being slightly anxious all day at the precinct and couldn't figure out why. He'd been jumpy every time she touched him and every word seemed to be perfectly selected like he was nervous to say the wrong thing. She had finally called him out on it after returning from a crime scene.

"Castle, seriously, what has gotten into you today?"

Castle looked up from the paperclip chain he was building at her desk.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Beckett rolled her eyes.

"You've been jumpy and nervous all day. What's going on?"

Castle shifted in his chair. Ran his fingers through his hair and then grabbed a small brown envelope out of his shirt pocket.

"Here."

Beckett took the envelope. She saw that he had scrawled her name across the front.

"What is this?"

"It's a card, Beckett."

"Yes, I know that Castle, but why are you giving me a card?"

"Would you just open it?"

Beckett turned the envelope over in her hand and carefully slid her finger under the flap. She took the card out of the envelope. The front of the card was simply, with a huge script "C" on the front of it. She opened the card, inside Castle's handwriting filled the card.

"_Dear Kate,_

_I don't even know if you know what today is, or it's just me that keeps up with dates like our four month anniversary. But after watching you die in that ambulance just over year ago and our huge fight that ended up with you hanging from a building I just don't feel like any more moments should slip away without you knowing how much you mean to me. You coming to my door, soaking wet and asking for another chance, telling me you wanted me, well that was just a dream come true and every day after has just extended that wonderful dream. Even when I was framed for murder, you never gave up on me, never lost trust in me. You are my dream Kate, and I thought you needed to know._

_I loved you then and I love you now, Always,_

_Rick"_

Kate's eyes darted up to his after finishing reading the card.

"I love you, too. You know that right?"

"I do now."

Kate smiled, leaned over and grabbed his hand, seeing they were still at the precinct she gave his hand a squeeze and then let go.

****present day****

Kate put the card back into the envelope. Castle took the card and put it back in the box.

"It was the first time I told you I loved you."

A huge grin spread over Castle's face.

"Yes. And that meant so much to me. We'd already been through so much. But when you said I love you, that cemented it for me, that we could make it through anything. I mean there isn't much worse than someone framing me for murder and we got through that. It was that moment I knew you were it."

"Only took you another 8 months to propose."

"I just wanted it to be perfect, but then realized that there was no perfect time, just the perfect person."

At the moment the baby decided to kick and Kate's hand instantly flew to her stomach. Castle immediately reacted.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, the baby just kicked, it startled me is all."

Castle places his hand above Kate's and he too felt a small kick. They both laughed.

"The baby must like hearing our stories. Maybe we should read another one."

At that moment Kate stifled a yawn.

"Not tonight kid, Mama is getting sleepy."

She rubbed her belly once and the baby seemed to settle. Castle got up and placed the box onto the dresser. Kate shifted to her side of the bed and laid down, Castle climbed in behind her and rested his hand on her stomach. This is how they'd slept most nights since she found out she was pregnant. Having Castle's hand on her stomach made her feel safe, and seemed to always calm the baby.

"I'm glad you found the box, I can't wait to read more."

"It'll be our love story through letters, cards &amp; notes. We can read them every night if you'd like."

"I'd love that, seems like the baby likes the idea too."

"Night my love."

"Night, Castle."

Thanks for reading. Sorry this took so long to get up. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It's not exactly what I wanted but that happens sometimes. Let me know if you have a letter/card/note idea for the happy couple. Until next time. LP


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